220 E. Nittany Ave. is a house that is divided into apartments. I am subletting one half of an apartment meant for two. My previous roommate is extremely friendly, smart, out -going and respectful. If you choose to live there you will share a common area, bedroom, kitchen and living room, and bathroom. Also the kitchen is large enough for a second bedroom and desk in case sharing a room is a problem. However like previously mentioned, whoever sublets Spring 2010 will be able to renew their residency and live in the perfect apartment for another year all by themselves! You will have first dibs on the apartment and it will be up to you if you want to split the rent with a roommate or friend or live there by yourself.

Rent- Rent is divided nine ways between all of the occupants in the house and it covers everything except cable and electric. Our cable package is comcast and it includes all of the movie channels like Starz, HBO, Showtime and Cinemax and electric varies each month. The total for the two usually ranges from $50-$60 a month. Also our house comes with a parking spot next to our yard in the back. Parking is free!

Features- This house is three stories not including the basement or attic and has a full porch in the front. Also on cold nights the backyard is perfect for a small fire pit! Cleaning ladies come once a week to clean the house but do not enter any of the apartments.

Location-This is one of the best and closest houses to campus! It is perfect if you would like to be closer to campus and want to make new friends! It is the second house on the right turning right off Pough Street and is only steps away from The Unimart, Gumby's Pizza and Subway. It takes me ten minutes to walk to the Paterno Library and less than 5 to walk to the off campus library.

The earliest you can move in is this Friday so hurry and call now!

For immediate information call (215)2304715 for Dan and I will provide you with any information necessary

Someone great once said that it's not enough to rest on your laurels.  Penn State student section, please take heed of this advice.

Ok, let me give you some details on my own time at Penn State.  My first semester here was Fall '06.  That was the season after MRob, after the Orange Bowl, and after Tamba Hali made sure that Troy Smith would forever watch his back.  JoePa's neighsayers were all proven wrong.  We had freshmen Derrick Williams, Deon Butler, and Jordan Norwood and Justin King on the other side of the ball.  Plus, we had Paul, Dan Connor, and a blossoming Sean Lee.  People were excited about Penn State football and with good reason.  The student section was so dedicated, loud, and energetic that it led ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit--a former OSU quarterback--to declare us the best student section in the nation.

And then came Anthony Morelli.  Oh, the Anthony Morelli days, remember them?  The 06-07 and 07-08 seasons were filled with disappointment, sloppy football, and general mediocrity.  However, through it all, the student section remained the best in the country.  Even in those multi-loss seasons, the students cheered and screamed like we were watching the greatest football team of all time.  We remained faithful.  We got there early, tailgated hard, cheered harder, and--for the most part, anyway--stayed until the games were over.  We treated those seasons like winning the Outback Bowl would be a historic event.  Most importantly, we perservered.

And then last year happened.  Daryll Clark took over, and the offense was on its feet again.  We had an offense packed with weapons and one of the most stifling defenses in the nation.  Our perserverance paid off with a trip to the Rose Bowl.  Regardless of that final result, last year was a great season.  It was a great way to send off the freshmen who made such a huge impact in 2005.  With our QB and RB's returning, Sean Lee being back on the field, and a great preseason ranking, we had a lot to look forward to at the beginning of this season, and with only one fluke loss, we still do.

So what happened?

The student section is showing up late to the games, and when everyone does show up, the seats aren't even filled.  This was something unimaginable even when in the Morelli days.  The students who are there aren't even getting as loud as in past years.

No doubt, the issue is related to the interesting ticket system implemented this year, but that doesn't excuse us all the way.  There are huge gaps in the student section at every home game, and people leave early as hell these days.

Students, we need to step it up.  We have a very good team this year.  We still have a shot at winning the conference, and we'll probably end up in a BCS Bowl Game.  True, Iowa does seem like the new Michigan in that we can't seem to do anything right against them, but that shouldn't damper our entire season.  What I'm saying is this:  Show up early.  Sing the songs.  It's no longer cool to not know the words to the alma mater.  Learn the songs and sing them loudly.  Yell out, "OH!" during the national anthem.  And when the game starts, get loud.  As soon as the opposing quarterback breaks the huddle, he should regret ever getting out of bed that day.  Throw someone in the air.  Keep singing the songs, and scream until you lose your voice.  Dance during "Hey Baby!"  Stay until the game is over, and do it all again the next week.

We're better than this.  We know, and the rest of the country knows it.  Let's show them how wild the largest stadium in North America--and the 3rd largest in the world--can get.

We are the best student section in the nation.  We are the best tailgating experience in all of sports.  We are the number one show in college football.  Let's do this.
 

PS:  Don't hold up four fingers at the beginning of the fourth quarter.  You look like a douche.  And that tradition was started by the 1986 Miami team, the arrogant thugs who we beat to win the national championship.
 

You all know that tailgating was cancelled this weekend.  What an unfortunate occurance.

-A football game with no tailgating is like wearing someone else's underwear.  It just feels wrong.
-...is like buying your engagement ring from Walmart; sure disappointment.
-...is like heroin; it's only ok once in a while.  (Is that wrong of me to say?)
-...is like Temple's football program; sad.
-...is like Mario Party; kind of fun, sometimes.
-...is like Nickelback performing; it should never happen again.
-...is like Joe Biden without Barack Obama; confusing.
-...is like the new Star Wars movies; disappointing.
-...is like a Big Mac without the special sauce; cold and dry.  (Yes, I could have taken that one more sexually, but I chose to take the high ground.)
-...is like the Dave Matthews band; it makes me want to rip my ears off and throw them down a garbage disposal.
-...is like the Tooth Fairy; I didn't know it actually existed.
-...is like dancing naked at your brother's wedding; a good idea until you think about what you've actually done.
-...is like Seinfeld; boring as hell.
-...is like a Sarah Palin speech; it makes me want to cry.
-...is like--well, it's like going to any other school.  Bring back the BEST TAILGATING IN THE NATION!

With all these controversies lately over the war in Iraq and the one in Afghanistan, I think it's easy to lose sight of some things.  We have to remember that Marines aren't just numbers.  They're not just statistics, not just those images on the television of guys running around popping off rifle fire, and they're not just solemn men who do nothing but fight battles.  These are sons and daughters, they're neighbors, they're community and family men, and in this case, they're really bad dancers.

(Props to our armed forces.  Best of luck trying to cope with the horrors of war and even the horrors of boredom sometimes.)

My new favorite Youtube video of all time:

I'm assuming you know by now that President Barack Obama has been awarded the Nobel Prize.  The Nobel is pretty much the highest honor for anything ever.  I can't really think of anything more prestigious.  It's pretty much the opposite of those medals that everyone used to get for competing in sports when we were little.  Remember those?  EVERYONE got one!  What the hell?!  I just won the championship, and you're getting a medal anyway?!  I just whooped your ass!  Oh man.

Do I think he deserves it right now?  To be honest, probably not.  I mean, he's my boy and all, but I just think he hasn't really accomplished much yet.  Do I think he's going to deserve it for what he ends up accomplishing?  One can only hope.  I think there are certain issues that need to be addressed concerning the backlash of his receiving the award, though.

First of all, let's be real with it.  There are some haters out there.  For the people who did not grow up in a place where 'hater' is a part of the vocabulary, I'll try to clarify.  A 'hater' is someone who constantly expresses negativity about someone or something else.  It doesn't matter how much the other party accomplished.  You could become a billionaire, find a cure for cancer, and end starvation.  You're going to have a few people criticizing you, no matter what.  These are the haters.  Generally, haters do their hating from far away.  That is to say, they'll criticize your technique all day, but the minute you tell them to show you how you're supposed to do it, they ain't got nothin' else to say.  Bill O'Reilly is a hater.  He criticizes things all day, but the minute you ask him how to solve it, he starts talking in circles and skirting the issue.  Jan Brady was a hater.  The step sisters in Cinderella were haters.  Haters are those people get mad when you do you.  They don't even bring anything to the table.  They just sit on the sidelines radiating negativity.  They are known to sip Haterade and eat hater tots.

Hater tots is probably my new favorite slang word, by the way.

Am I saying that if you criticize Barack Obama you're a hater?  No, not at all.  I think it's important to have people criticizing the president os that we always have opposition that will spur us to progress.  However, once you get mad at him for being given an award by another party, that becomes hating.  If you don't think he deserved it, that's fair enough, but if you take that energy and channel it into getting angry at the recipient, rather than the awarding committee, you my friend, are engaging in the act commonly known as hating.

If you want to talk about his shortcomings, ok.  If you want to criticize his health plan, that's fine.  If you don't think he should have gotten the Nobel fair enough.  However, once you judo-flip that into somehow getting angry at him for somebody else recognizing him, you're not bringing constructive energy to the discussion any more.  Instead, you're just getting angry at someone else's success.  That's hating.  If you want to get mad about his winning, get mad at the committee responsible, not the one awarded.  You can't fault him for being honored by a group of highly educated, highly respectable people.  As they say where I'm from, "Don't hate the player; hate the game."

And there's another thing I want to bring up.  Throughout the later parts of his presidency, when it became clear to both sides that George W. Bush had no idea what was going on, the Republicans who seemed to be losing faith reassured themselves and tried to reassure others.  They came up with the whole argument that you may not agree with what he's doing, but George W. Bush is the head of our country regardless, so both Democrats and Republicans should support him.

But now that their guy isn't in office, Republican cry and shout--I say shout, rather than protest because protests tend to have substance--every time Obama itches his nose.

Republican party circa 2007:  Well he may not be the best president, but he's our president.
Republican party 2009:  The nerve of our president!  Winning the Nobel Prize, what's wrong with this man?!

I mean, Republicans, I know you're struggling to hold on.  I know you're out of touch with the increasing youth vote.  I know you're trying to get my attention, but come on, guys, this isn't the way to go about it.  Shouting skewed facts?  Clinging to Barack Obama's middle name?  Making Michael Steele your token black guy?  And Sarah Palin?  Sarah Palin?!

Why should I pay attention to what you say to me if you won't even pay attention to what the rest of the world is saying to you?

Disclaimor:  I don't think the Republican Party is evil.  I think they usually mean well.  I value a lot of their input into the discussion of improving our country.  But let's be honest, the GOP isn't meeting eye-to-eye with the youth, the poor, and minorities.  And increasingly, it seems like they don't meet eye-to-eye with the working class.  I think it's important that they change these things to become real factors in the next election, but the more I see these teabaggers, town hall yellers, and people like Glenn Beck, the more I'm put off from them.  With guys like Glenn Beck, it's no longer a matter of, "Dude, I completely disagree with what you're saying."  Instead, I just change the channel.  I feel like a lot of the tactics--on both sides, but Democrats already have control of the White House and Congress, so it doesn't matter as much--are masturbatory.  That is to say, they give something for your own party to cheer about but nothing that could possibly inform or persuade the other party.  I don't hold debates in your pornography, so please stop masturbating in our politics.

I have reading pouring out of my eyeballs right now.  Don't ask me how this works, it just happens.  Here are a few links to help you with your own eyeball-pouring work:

-More Jay Smooth because this dude is awesome:

-Lamebook:  The best and worst parts of Facebook.  Check it out.

-People of Walmart:  I'm sure many of us have had that moment of, "Oh my god, is that person really wearing that?!"  Or, "Wow, that's the trashiest outfit I've ever seen."  Or, "That's more redneck than putting rims on a double-wide."  This website collects pictures of those unique Walmart moments for all the world to see.

-Need some inspiration for Halloween?  Well here's a dude doing no less than 500 impressions in 2 minutes.  I don't know how he didn't sprain anything.

-We can dance if you want to, we can leave your friends behind...Come on , it's a classic, sort of.  And if you haven't seen the video, you really have to watch it.

"Hey, Hey, It's Saturday" is a comedy show in Australia similar to America's "The Gong Show".  In case you missed the controversy, see the video above.  In case you're too lazy to do that, I'll sum it up for you.

A group called the Jackson Jive appeared on the show in 'tribute' to the Jackson 5.  In their act, they wore blackface and performed the classic "Can You Feel It".  Harry Connick, Jr., apparently a big fan of the show, appeared as a guest judge.  He was not amused, giving the group a zero.  At the end of the show, he explained why the act bothered him.  "We [Americans] spent so much time trying to not make black people look like buffoons that when we see something like that, we take it to heart."

I'll backtrack a bit here; as many people know, blackface has a long, unfortunate history in America.  Minstrel performers wore it during routines in which they would basically present themselves as caricatures of African-Americans, playing upon the racial stereotypes of 19th Century America.  The characters were bumbling, uneducated, clumsy, sambo-types who would sing and dance for the amusement of the mainly white audiences.

Blackface today not only plays on such stereotypes but recalls a horrible time in the race relations of the US.  Seeing this performance was an absolute shock to me, and I had to discuss it a bit.

Did these guys mean to be racist?  Highly doubt it.  I think they were just trying to get a few laughs and have a bit of fun themselves.  Judging by the crowd's reaction, they were successful  However, performance--communication, too, but that's a whole different article--is about interacting with the audience, not just those present but whoever may be watching it on the TV, or in this case, Youtube, as well.  What you're trying to do is provoke a reaction from those watching.  This means that the way people interpret your act is more important than what you intended to say.  Therefore, even if you're not racist, one can still easily participate in racist actions.

And that's the issue here.  By donning blackface, they presented themselves as depictions of black people.  In this instance, the presentation was a mockery, not so far removed from the minstrel show.  Furthermore, they connotatively evoked the disturbing history of the blackface performer.  What the non-critical-thinking audience sees is a bunch of silly black men jumping around and making fools of themselves, sacrificing their self-humility to please the masses.  It is really an image of subjugation and stereotype perpetualization.

Well what about the front man?  He's wearing whiteface.  Is he presenting a mockery of white people?  Well yes, to an extent he is.  However, his wearing whiteface doesn't have the far-reaching implications of blackface.  For one, whiteface doesn't have the aforementioned history of blackface.  Secondly, and more importantly, one must remember that Caucasians are the dominant race--dominant in the sense of population, power, and privilege--in both Australia and the US.  Therefore, white people have more control over their image as a race, and they are then presented in more diverse and dynamic roles than minorities.  When regarding the general population, the image of the minority, blacks in this case, is controlled by how the majority, whites in this case, chooses to perceive it, whereas the majority, rather than having an image, is considered the norm.

But it's Australia; they don't have the same racial history as us.  Good point.  I don't know and won't pretend to know if Australia also had minstrel shows and the sambo stereotype.  However, that doesn't negate the fact that blacks are still the minority.  Therefore, the performers were still imposing a degrading image upon them.

It's important to remember that even though some have dubbed our society as 'post-racial', racism still exists, on the tongues and in the mouths of people as well as systemically.  Just because the KKK has a smaller impact in policing southern towns and just because there are fewer obviously visible effects of racism doesn't mean it's non-exsistant.  People of all races have feelings, and it's our duty as human beings to respect those feelings.

Also, big-ups to Harry Connick, Jr. on the way he handled things.  He kept his cool but still made a firm stand.  It would have been easy for him to laugh everything off as 'just a joke', and it would have been easy for him to go apeshit and start throwing accusations around.  However, by being reasonable, he kept the possibility for dialogue, education, and progress open.

Now some thoughts from an intelligent and down-to-earth guy, Jay Smooth:

Yesterday, PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich came to PSU to present Meet Your Meat, a presentation that was half presentation, half question-and-answer session, the latter of which definitely held more interest.

Before I go any further, I should explain that I am a food lover and meat-eater.  More than one of my friends has called me the most carniverous person they know.  However, I also live with two vegans and a pescatarian--that is, someone who doesn't eat beef, pork, poultry, etc. but eats fish.  I am also very good friends with Rusty Zufall, the president of the PSU Vegetarian Club.  Hence, I am a meat-eater, but I'm also aware of the issues around eating meat.

At one point in the presentation, one of PETA dudes--organizer/moderator/assistant-thingy-guy--asked all of the vegetarians and then all of the non-vegetarians to raise their hands.  I expected 80-90% vegetarians, but surprisingly enough, the crowd was probably about 40% omnivores.  During the question-and-answer segment, I think both sides produced valid points, asked good questions, and generally tried to be open about things.  Most of it went pretty smoothly in this manner.

However, quite a few times, someone would say something, and it was followed by either applause or snarky side remarks.  Actually, one of the questions I asked was followed by applause from the meat-eaters.  I suppose I was a bit glad about that; it indicated that what I said resonated with others.  However, I was more upset about people applauding than happy.

Wait, wait, wait.  You're upset because people agree with you?  That makes no sense.

No, I wasn't angry that people agreed with me.  As stated before, I was glad I could voice a concern that many others in the room held.  However, when people started applauding, that took my question from an honest, candid inquiry and made it seem like me trying to champion my own agenda or prove Bruce wrong.  That was not my intention.  By setting out solely to prove the other party wrong, we simply close the dialogue.  People then take defensive positions on their views and end up attacking the other side, rather than genuinely trying to teach them something that could benefit them in some way.  It really reeks of out-of-context remarks and 'gotcha journalism'--I really hate that term--that is all to present in politics.

The discussion then moves from a well I think you're wrong on this point conversation to a you're a horrible person who shouldn't reproduce pissing contest.  The latter type does not encourage people trying to improve themselves but instead promotes people becoming even more entrenched in their own beliefs.  They stop trying to teach other people and start trying to make themselves look bigger.  Not only does this prevent progress, but it regresses the conversation, as people become less likely to be willing to learn from each other.

All that being said, such pissing contests were more the exception than the rule last night.  Big-ups to everyone who showed up with an open mind.  And big-ups to Bruce, who I disagree with on many issues and actions, but who treated everyone with a human respect last night.

For more information, you can visit these links:
PETA
The Penn State Vegetarian Club on Facebook
The Penn State College of Agriculture (Many of the omnivore views came from people associated with the College of Ag.)

Generally, dear readers, I can't stand reality TV.  Generally, I can't stand children.  Generally, I think combining the two results in the kind of television programming that would be worthy of a place in the Greek Underworld to torture people who behaved badly on Earth.  Generally.

That being said, I absolutely loved the show "Jon and Kate Plus Eight".

Stop right there.  LovED is key here.  Past tense.  Before the allegations of cheating, the split, the media storm, the parents losing any semblance of sanity, etc.  I think that what's going on now is unfair to the family, all Two, Plus Two, Plus Six of them, and the parents just keep feeding into it.  I don't think it's good for these children to be able to turn on the television and see what the media is making their parents out to be or see what their parents are making themselves out to be, for that matter.  I don't think it's good that years down the road, they'll be able to Google their family and get a slew of results calling them crazy.  Also, with Jon and Kate being portrayed so negatively, what effects will this have on the way these children are viewed.  I'm sure there will be many parents who won't want their kids to hang out with the Gosselin children for fear of paprazzi and the possibility that Kate, the one who has custody of them, or Jon, who also seems to see them a fair amount, are as crazy as the media portrays them to be.

Back to what I was saying before:  I absolutely loved the show.  Before the messy breakup and whatnot, JK8 portrayed a family in a unique situation trying to be relatively normal, or at the very least, functional.  True, many things that we consider 'normal' would be impossible given their family situation.  True, having their own TV show probably did not help to make things normal.  However, the show depicted them in their every day lives.  At the time, it seemed like both parents genuinely wanted the best for their children.  Sure, they seemed a bit misguided sometimes.  But they garnered attention by trying to be a functional family.  Such a case is rare in the modern age of paparazzi and the Internet where the entire world can read ridiculous non-stories about celebrities mere minutes after they occur.  Too often, when media attention is given to families, especially the parent/child dynamic, it's because of what someone has done wrong.  Remember when Michael Jackson dangled his child?  Remember Brittany driving with her child on her lap?

There are a lot of people who would say that glorifying good parenting is unhealthy.  That is to say that good parenting should be a given, so it really shouldn't need to be glorified.  Yes, I agree, all children deserve good parenting.  However, that being said, no all children are going to have good parenting.  One of the reasons for this is because of the mentality that 40 is the new 30, and 30 is the new 20, and 20 is the new 7 or something like that.  The media often glorifies this youthful reckless abandon, and the age in which it's acceptable to act in such a way keeps increasing.  Such depictions result in parents going to clubs, going out with friends, acting more independently.  Such independence could be healthy for adults caught in dead-end jobs and the general rat race, but at the same time, I don't think it's healthy when such freedom comes at the cost of good parenting.  JK8 played a converse, glorifying the family, rather than the individual.  For a time, they were refreshing symbols of (perceived) stability when the rest of the media world was focused on the latest mental breakdowns of 20-something pop divas.

I apologize for the lull in updates, Jolters.  I had the flu.  Not the swine variety, but a quite horrible incarnation of the regular flu.  Wait, is there a regular flu?  A Platonic Ideal of the flu, perhaps?  Either way, this flu had me in my bed half-watching shitty infomercials--as though regular infomercials were not shitty enough--because I was too fatigued to push the button down to go to another channel, even the remote was already in my hand.

So I walk into UHS with flu-like symptoms.  Well UHS is not taking risks, as soon as I got to the fourth floor, I had to put a mask on in case I did, in fact, have the swine flu.  They take me back, and the first order of business is taking my temperature.  If you have a temperature of lower than 100°, then you probably don't have the flu, and you can take off your mask, and they don't have to run any more tests.  So they take my temperature, 98.7°.  Pretty much normal.  Nothing to worry about.  I can take off my mask.  Then they go through the motions, ask me if I have a runny nose, nausea, aches, etcetcetc.  The doctor comes in and concludes it's a sinus infection, and I just need to stay in bed for a day or two.  As I'm leaving, the doctor feels my head one last time, says I feel warm, and she takes my temperature.  98.7°?  Not so much.  Actually, 100.6°.  Cue awkward moment where the doctor asks me to put my mask back on, and tells me to sit down again.  Good times.

By the way, the swine flu tests are only 85% accurate.  How swell.

In other news, the offense looked great against Illinois.  The line clicked, actually opening up holes and looking like they were at least somewhat interested in playing for the first time this season.  It seemed like everything else went from there.  The defense struggled at times to stop Illinois from putting together drives, but they didn't look too bad.  If we can put that kind of team on the field every week, we have a good shot to win the rest of our games, though I suspect we'll have to step it up a bit for the OSU game.

It's good to see the running game functioning again.  We have a very well-balanced running back in Evan Royster who has the capability of being one of the top RB's in the nation.  He's still only a junior!  And Stephfon Green is a 4.2-second 40-yard dash guy.  Huge potential there.

Sean Lee did not play again.  He sprained his left knee against Temple and hasn't played since that game.  It's really unfortunate for a player of such great quality to have to sit on the bench, especially during his senior year.  He really could be the best LB in the country.

You've probably heard, missing student Joe Dado's body was found at the bottom of a Hosler stairwell earlier this evening.  It is an unfortunate result to an event that had many people on edge.

I did not know Joe, nor will I pretend to.  I know that some people are saying that this should be a lesson or whatever.  I think that's a bit callous, though.  Joe was an individual person whose life deserves to be remembered as more than just the moral of a story.  The thoughts of the Jolt's staff go out to his family and friends.

A couple of years ago, I lost a friend, a PSU student studying in Greece.  These two experiences are not the same, I realize this.  I wasn't best friends with him, but I would have considered him a good friend.  I think I found comfort in people sharing stories.  People loved him.  Just because a life is cut short does not mean it's less significant.  If you know people who were close to Joe, offer your support.  Grief, in many cases, is very much a group process as well as an individual one.  As humans, we feel emotions that often seem too big and too complex to deal with on our own.  Sometimes we need each other to deal with our own feelings.

Penn State student Joe Dado is missing.  I don't know him, but a couple of my friends do.  The last I heard, a search party was being put together to look for him.  If you know and have seen Joe recently, please contact the authorities.

I really don't know the details on this story; I was just at a party, and one of my friends said he wasn't coming because they're assembling a team to look for Joe.  He said to pass the message on that if anyone has seen him, contact the authorities.

...but Kanye West has been in the most headlines of all time.

As I was saying, I didn't watch the VMA's, but it seems impossible to avoid the coverage of Kanye's antics, with even the president having a thing or two to say about it.  To be honest, I don't care much either way about the incident, but I guess I do agree that Kanye's actions did reek of jackassery.  It's kind of amusing to me that he raps about coming from nothing and seems to be making every effort to return to nothing.  There must be something wrong with this dude.  This is more serious than just sheer egotistical behavior.  It's like his brain occasionally gets the hiccups.  Lots of them that manifest themselves in bad ideas that gain momentum and turn into words.  He really seems like that guy in class who argues with the professor just for the sake of getting attention even though he has no idea what's actually going on.

But Penn State, I am concerned.  Are we really doing enough to punish or prevent these actions for the future?  Considering he publicly humiliated ol' whatsherface, I think it's only right that he, too, should consequently be publicly humiliated.  Kanye has a history of outbursts, so we need to do something very thorough, something that will send the message that he does not want to mess with Jessica Simpson--that's who it was, right?--again.  It needs to be something public so that everyone around can see but not so public that he ends up getting more of the attention he craves.  Something brutal, lasting, that will make him regret his actions.  Yes, I think he should be followed by Kathy Griffin 24/7.

As it tends to be for these crazy pop culture fiascos, a good website came out of it, anyway.

Poet Elizabeth Alexander will be reading at the Palmer Art Museum on Thursday at 7:30 pm.  Alexander is best known for being the poet to read at Barack Obama's inauguration, however, she has a long list of other honors to her name.  She has received a grant from the Nation Endowment of the Arts, been a Pulitzer finalist, received two Pushcart Prizes, and received a Guggenheim among other things.

Ok, let's be honest.  Her inaugural poem wasn't the best poem in the world.  The imagery wasn't great, and it really lacked the sense of inspiration that one would expect from a poem about such a momentous event.  Cut the lady some slack, though.  Writing a poem on demand is difficult enough.  The magnitude of the event it was for probably did not help matters.  Plus, she was expected to write a great poem that the First Family would like, that the general public could admire, and that the scholars could appreciate.  Producing a poem that comes close to fulfilling even one of these requirements is difficult enough, something that most people will not do in their entire lives, let alone given one chance.

Alexander is a solid poet; one look at her credentials reinforces that.  This reading should definitely be one worth going to.  On her website, she has some samples posted.  Here is one from that selection:

"Race"

Sometimes I think about Great-Uncle Paul who left Tuskeegee,
Alabama to become a forester in Oregon and in so doing
became fundamentally white for the rest of his life, except
when he travelled without his white wife to visit his siblings —
now in New York, now in Harlem, USA — just as pale-skinned,
as straight-haired, as blue-eyed as Paul, and black. Paul never told anyone
he was white, he just didn’t say that he was black, and who could imagine,
an Oregon forester in 1930 as anything other than white?
The siblings in Harlem each morning ensured
no one confused them for anything other than what they were, black.
They were black! Brown-skinned spouses reduced confusion.
Many others have told, and not told, this tale.
When Paul came East alone he was as they were, their brother.

The poet invents heroic moments where the pale black ancestor stands up
on behalf of the race. The poet imagines Great-Uncle Paul
in cool, sagey groves counting rings in redwood trunks,
imagines pencil markings in a ledger book, classifications,
imagines a sidelong look from an ivory spouse who is learning
her husband’s caesuras. She can see silent spaces
but not what they signify, graphite markings in a forester’s code.

Many others have told, and not told, this tale.
The one time Great-Uncle Paul brought his wife to New York
he asked his siblings not to bring their spouses,
and that is where the story ends: ivory siblings who would not
see their brother without their telltale spouses.
What a strange thing is “race,” and family, stranger still.
Here a poem tells a story, a story about race.

I am all hyped up on caffeine right now.  It's bad.  I'm skipping words as I type, and I'm fairly certain I'm just rambling on.

So did anyone else see the HUB preachers today?  Or technically yesterday, I suppose.  As I was walking home from class, I passed in front of the HUB to see a large crowd of people around a few guys preaching in front of the HUB--pretty standard stuff, I suppose, but I stopped for a minute because I had nothing better to do.  Much to my surprise, rather than telling me I was going to hell, what did I hear?  The guy I heard was saying that God punishes bad people, but he's also a God of LOVE.  Wait, what?  Run that by me again.  Love?  This is not what I'm used to hearing from campus preachers.  I'm used to being read a laundry list of reasons I'm going to hell.  But these guys said God was loving.  And even forgiving!

Though I do not necessarily identify with it now, I grew up Lutheran.  To oversimplify things, Lutherans are taught that people are saved through "faith and faith alone."  It's a belief very much based upon forgiveness, not condemnation.  So I always knew that the Church had this side; I would even say it has more significance than the fire and brimstone side of things.  However, many of the preachers at PSU seem to forget about these things in favor of a more anger-provoking message.  Such an approach, I think, is not very effective for converting people; if they don't believe in your God, they're probably not going to subscribe to your beliefs if all it has to say is negative things about them.

However, preaching a message of love and forgiveness seems like it would intrigue more people who are looking for answers; you're not a terrible person for not believing during the first however many years of your life, as God is presented as someone who will be more grateful for your faith later in life than he is angry about your not believing in him before.  Plus, such a message is more conducive to positive action, and the outside community will see such a thing and be more receptive to the teachings.

I only listened for a short time, so I don't know if they preached a more negative message at any point, but I must give props to them for the parts I heard.  I think their positive mentality can not only help to convert students but also help to unite the community as a whole.

According to Penn State Live, two students have received positive results for swine flu--excuse me, H1N1, I believe we're supposed to call it.  What does this mean to you?  Well frankly, I'm not sure, to be honest.  Actually, I'd say it means absolutely nothing--at this point, anyway.  However, the Daily Jolt, being knowledgable citizens, would like to help you with some tips in avoiding the sickness.

1. Don't drink.  At all.  Alcohol hurts your immune system.  Plus, there are germs all up in people's spit.  And you don't know who's sipping on your drinks while your head is turned.  It's bad.  BAD.
2. Don't eat with your hands.  And if you live in the dorms don't use silverware.  Some germs are ruthless, extreme mofos.  You never know if something's going to survive the dishwasher.  Therefore, silverware in the dining halls is definitely not safe.  So if you're going to eat there, you have to go into your food face first.  And if you can find a way to suspend your food in the air without touching any plates, that's a plus.
3. Avoid all people who snort while laughing.  Science has proven that genetic defects similar to the DNA of pigs cause people to snort while laughing.  These people are more suseptible to catching the Swine Flu.
4. Avoid centipedes and giant squid; I hope you're doing this anyway.  They're creepy as hell.
5. Do NOT sit on chairs.  It's been discovered that most people who have had the sickness have sat on a chair at some point in their lives.  If you've sat in a chair in the past five years, seek medical help immediately.
6. Avoid footballs or people who have come in recent contact with footballs.  Footballs are made from pig intestines, and you can catch the Swine Flu from them.  You shouldn't watch football on TV, and definitely don't go to football games.
7. If fairy tales taught us anything, it's that wolves, especially of the Big Bad variety, love to eat pigs.  In threes.  The best way to avoid the flu is to join a wolfpack.  Or jump into the wolf cage at your local zoo.  It just makes sense.

If you listen to this advice, you are surely safe from the Swine Flu.  However, if you break any of these guidelines, you increase your chances 521%.  Science proves it.

Oh, and if you actually took any of these seriously, please seek medical help.

Tonight, I find myself wondering about something that I have wondered about since before my freshman year so long ago:  why does Penn State suck at selling football tickets?  In the four years that I've been here, the school has done it a different way each year.  I mean come on, we have one of the most established football programs in the country; you think the university would be able to figure this out.  Instead, every year is something different, with students not knowing what time they'll have to wake up or what hoops they'll have to jump through in order to acquire tickets.  No matter what system is implemented, it seems that the university always misses out on core issues regarding football tickets.

First of all, why do students have to get all the tickets or none of the tickets?  Last time I checked, there were 21,500 seats in the student section.  That means 21,500 students get to see every game from the student section; I'm treating the number of students who acquire tickets secondhand as marginal.  21,500 is only a fraction of the 92,613 students from all the campuses.  Yes, I realize that not 100% of these students want to attend the games, but considering the speed with which tickets consistantly sell out, one can assume that there is a much larger demand for tickets than can be met under the current system.  Why can't we sell tickets on a game-by-game basis?  21,500 seats per seven home games would mean 150,500 tickets.  Each student could see at least one game per season with plenty of tickets left over for students to repeat.  If each student only had a few tickets, those tickets would be more prestigious, meaning that fewer students would skip games, meaning a fuller, more passionate student section.  Also, if students couldn't make it to the games they had tickets to, they just wouldn't purchase tickets to that game.  The student wouldn't have to pay for a useless ticket, and that ticket could go to someone who could make it to the game.

Another idea that I think the univeristy could implement is to distribute tickets based on a system to measure students' attendence to events.  I think a point system would be useful here.  At each game, students must now swipe their PSU ID's.  The university could use this to keep track.  Something like five points for each year the student has completed could be a base, so freshmen would start out with 0, sophomores would have five, juniors 10, and seniors 15.  Then, each student would be rewarded two points for each sporting event attended, regardless of sport.  They could also lose a point for each one that they had tickets to but missed.  Points would accumulate through a student's career.  This way, only the most loyal fans would receive tickets.  At all the games I've been to, I've been pretty upset when people leave at half time because of a little rain or because the game isn't close any more; someone else, a more loyal fan could have had those people's tickets and stayed for the entire game.  A point system could help to fix this situation.  It would also help to foil the people who buy tickets only to sell them at ridiculous prices if paper tickets are ever used again.

I think the biggest problem is the size of the student section.  Yes, I know that 21,500 is about 20% of the stadium.  I know that we have one of the largest student sections in the country.  I also realize that a larger student section would take seats away from alumni.  However, a university should be about its students.  Considering Penn State has a healthy dorm system where students live and the town of State College is based on the university's existence, I think that the school has a responsibility to enrich not only the education but also the lives of its students who are paying thousands of dollars for the PSU experience.  University advertisements use the catchphrase, "It's your time," in order to prove this emphasis, the university must give priority to students--to current students and expand the student section.

As much as I've complained about the constant change to the way the university sells tickets, I think it's important that they keep changing it until a solution is found.  One of the unique aspects of PSU is the football games.  They become some of the most vivid memories that students have of the university.  Hence, it is important for the administration to figure out a system that accomodates as many deserving students as possible.

How ya doin' sports fans?  Being a Phillies fan myself, I get a bit frustrated that I can't always watch the games because of TV coverage or, ya know, class.  So in case you missed it, the solo triple play:  http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919435.

In case you were wondering where your favorite dealer was, he got busted.  Police surrounded the Sunoco Station on University Drive Friday night, arresting the gas station owner and his dealer for selling an alleged $50,000 a month.  Yes, this man made enough money a month to pay for about four years of a Penn State tuition.  This makes me wonder:  What happens to the drug money after a drug raid?  Anyone more qualified than me can feel free to comment and let me know.

So how was your first day of classes?  Everything you ever hoped for?  Too early?  Yeah, too early.  Quite a few of my classes have given me four unexcused absences for the semester, as opposed to last year's three.  Has this happened to anyone else?  Maybe I'm just special.

Michael Jackson is back in the news.  Apprently, doctors found out that he took a lethal dose of something.  Good god, is this really newsworthy? Who's really surprised?  Any fourth grader with a plastic stethescope could have figured that out.  If you're going to go through all the trouble to make a news release, at least make it interesting.  Tell us he had pet velociraptors in his basement that didn't actually attack him but, in fact, poisoned his food.

In a self-promotion, go to the Involvement Fair tomorrow and stop by the Problem Child Literary Magazine table.  Do it.  Do it hard.

Hey all, it's the commencement of a new year.  The beginning of a chapter.  A fresh page.  A clean slate.  Everyone looks forward to this time of year.

That paragraph makes me want to vomit a little.

Let's be honest.  It's time for more procrastination, more drinking, and more stumbling into class hungover on the day of exams wondering if it's really an exam day or if the entire class is just pulling an elaborate prank on you.  The Jolt has your back, folks.  Procrastinate more!  Opinionate more!  Fail more.

Ok ok ok, so what's been going on this summer?  Swine flu!  Yes, one of the biggest stories of this year has been somewhat of an epidemic, and you're moving back into dorms with poor air flow and people stacked on top of each other.  Feel daring yet?  I'm wondering what's actually going to happen if - knock on wood - anyone on campus actually does catch a case.  Will the university make us all get treatments?  Probably?  Will they pay for it?  Get back to you on that one...

Sarah Palin!  What's the deal with her, anyway?  She quit her political job, and she's still getting press coverage like she's the Dalai Lama of middle-aged mothers.  Come to think of it, I just mentioned her.  On a public blog.  Hooray hypocrisy!  Seriously though, do any of us actually care?  I mean, I guess it's sometimes amusing to care what she has to say in the same way that it's amusing to listen to a first grader try to explain where babies come from.  Actually, the first grader might be better at explaining that then the Palins.  Oh, that's a terrible thing to say.

What about Penn State stuff?  Well, there's this, the infamous 'Fat Bitch' featured on a website showing the world's fattest foods.  'This is why you're fat' is a blog with pictures of the most obnoxiously, deliociously disgusting - or disgustingly delicious, maybe - foods people can find.  From the heart attack inducing ('Patti LaBurger':  triple bacon cheeseburger with deep-fried patties as the buns), to the fiendish ('Oreo Stuff Dip':  a dip made from melting Oreo fillings), to the just plain wrong (Bacon Infused Waffles), they are chock full of visual entertainment for the stoner on a diet.  I showed it to my vegan roommate earlier; she simultaneously lauged out loud at the foods while slapping me.

Oh yes, the new fmylife.com is upon us.  Texts from last night is a site where you can send in those awkward, embarrassing texts you received from your friends who probably shouldn't have been texting last night.  There's also a large number of texts from the morning after.  Have a look at some:

(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

(601): Are you drinking alone?
(662): no, i'm watching house
(601): That doesn't count.
(662): wtf, then i'm always alone

(650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
(650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

(210): ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!

(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

(913): i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
(816): i think im in thre room next to you

First of all, what's the deal with this Wallypalooza crap?  $60,000 to get a bunch of knucklehead performers together in front of no one?  This concerns me greatly.  I realize at such a large university, $60,000 is practically nothing coming out of my pocket.  However, I'm not going to see this.  Most of the student body is not going to see this, I anticipate.  Essentially, we're paying for nothing.  I don't care how small of an amount it is, I don't appreciate being involuntarily charged for absolutely nothing.

Furthermore, the organization of the event reeks of cronyism.  The organizer, Mike Wallace, is tight with quite a few of the members of UPUA.  Basically, this seems to me like a party he wanted to have for some friends with the school footing the bill.  Don't get me wrong, I realize he's probably already a legend among his friends now, but it's at my expense.

Wallace has said that he wants to provide "alternative" forms of entertainment for students.  For one thing, no he doesn't.  He wants a party for his friends.  Secondly, is it really the university's job to do this?  If he does indeed want alternative entertainment for his friends--I mean, fellow students, why does he have to go through the university--and through my wallet--to do so?

A few weeks ago, everyone was up-in-arms about the government's cut of funds to PSU.  Seriously, do we even have a case any more when the funds we do have are going toward things like these, rather than research or cutting tuition costs?

What are your thoughts on the issue?

*     *     *

As if you weren't procrastinating enough, here's a link for some more procrastination:  http://www.gunaxin.com/a-tribute-to-fallen-dead-discontinued-sodas/11115.

It's a tribute to defunct sodas.  Surge!  Remember that?  Sprite Remix.  I thoroughly enjoyed those.  Or Orbitz.  There's one I bet you forgot about--or maybe didn't know in the first place.  It was the soda with the little gelatin booger-like things floating around.

Hello Jolters.  After three weeks of travelling around Europe--Venice, Florence, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Paris, and London--I am back at it with a bit more of a worldly perspective on things, I'd like to think.  For your reading entertainment, here is a list of the top five--or so--things that I encountered while traveling.  If you are, in fact, traveling to any of these places, you can quite easily Google the cities and see what to do.  Therefore, this list will focus on the not-so-Google-able.

1.  Tapas in Madrid - And by not-so-Google-able, I mean slightly Google-able.  If you're planning on going to Madrid, I hope you've heard of tapas.  Basically, you go to a bar, order some drinks, and food comes out with your drinks.  The trick is, though, to get off the tourist path.  Yes, there are plenty of tapas bars all over, but if you go to one in the downtown areas or if you go on one of those 'tapas tours', you'll be charged for your food.  And that defeats half the beauty of the concept; find somewhere away from everywhere.  Don't even bother looking at the menu, just order a round of drinks, and if you have an eye for selecting bars, food should start coming out with your drinks fo' free.  Between 8 of us, we managed to get about 10 plates of food and 4 rounds for about €7.50 each.  And that's including 4 plates of food that we ordered off the menu; the price would have been even lower had we stuck to the free tapas.

2.  Drinking under the Eiffel Tower in Paris - If you're going to Paris, you're probably going to the Eiffel Tower.  Go up it.  See the view.  Gawk.  Once you're done, go to a nearby market, and buy a bottle of wine.  Ask the proprietor to cork it for you.  Then go to the park around the Eiffel Tower and drink there.  You have a beautiful view, and you can see the light show every half-hour.  There are plenty of local college kids who do the same, so you can get drunk and meet people.  If you need souveneirs, there tend to be plenty of guys selling stuff around the Tower.  I bought lighters.  Lots of lighters for my friends.  The key is to haggle with them.  Well, not really haggle, so much as tell them how much you're going to pay.  One guy wanted €12 for a lighter.  I told him I'd give him €2.50.  He said €8.  I said €2.50.  He said €5, and he couldn't go any lower.  I began to walk away.  He said he'd take €2.50.

3.  Markets in London - The UK does not exactly have the best reputation when it comes to food.  However, the current trend in the culinary world is the movement toward local ingredients.  Being made of islands, the UK has some of the best seafood in the world and, for some reason, also has great Scottish beef.  There are plenty of food markets in London that focus on these great ingredients, places where you can buy fresh ingredients or prepared food that was probably swimming in the ocean earlier that day.  Plus, being such a large city, the population, and therefore the merchants, consist of a diverse population.  We ate at a stand that had Irish stew, curries, and some of the best tacos and burritos I've ever had.  An Irish guy, an Indian guy, and a Mexican guy worked there.  In these places, the ingredients are fresh, the techniques new, but the recipes traditional.  Camden Markets is an experience all its own.  Interesting vintage shops, some good food places, a few pubs along the way, and--I don't understand this part--many of the stores somehow manage to sell mother nature or 'the green stuff that grows' as my friend put it, and they sell it out in the open with the rest of their merchandise.

4.  Water bus ferry thing in Venice - Ok, people.  The gondola ride was quite lame.  Especially considering they tend to be €60-100.  Skip it.  You ride through some canals in a small boat, hoping that you don't get caught in a wake, flip over, and ruin your expensive camera that you bought just for this trip.  After about 25 feet, you've seen pretty much all you're going to see for the rest of the ride.  Hey, look, a canal.  Hey, a building on the canal!  Oh my gosh, a canal with some buildings on either side.  Look, we're in a canal, and to the left and the right, there are buildings.  That's all, folks.  Plus, the residents dump sewage in the canals.  Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin your romantic glass of wine?  If you want to see the same thing for a lot cheaper, just get on the bus.  The boat.  Whatever it is.  Basically, Venice is a group of islands, which makes traditional public transportation impractical.  So instead of a bus system, there is a ferry or waterbus system.  You can get one that runs through the Grand Canal, which is the center of the city.  Plus, you can also find ones that run to the outer islands, something that your gondola, in its romantic frailty, cannot do.  You see the same stuff, I promise.  Plus, you don't have to deal with the terrible singing and kitschy wardrobe of a gondola driver--pilot?  captain?  what are they called?--who hates his life.  Note:  The ferry system is best experienced by singing the song "I'm On a Boat".

5.  People in hostels - Apparently there are some movies, Hostel and Turistas, I believe they're called that have given a bad reputation to hostels.  Fear not, my young American friends, I stayed in seven hostels and one hotel, and the hotel was by far the worst of the places--stinking rooms, no pillows, but that's another story.  Hostels really aren't that creepy or anything.  Try to find one with a common area for guests.  It's a great way to meet people.  About 90% of the time, the people staying are university students doing some traveling.  They all have stories, not always interesting, but stories nonetheless.  These people also know cool places to go or tricks you can use to avoid spending money.  For me, one of the most enjoyable parts of traveling is to meet people different from myself, and hostels are a great place to do it.  Get some wine or beers with your friends, bring them back to the hostel, drink, and greet people.  It's a bit more laid back than the bar or club scene, so it's not as weird just saying hi to strangers.  Plus, it's cool to have friends from other countries on Facebook.  Note:  This does not apply if you, for some reason, voted for McCain.  Don't let people from other countries know if you did, in fact, vote for him.  Really.  No, I'm serious.

“I Deserve A Better Grade…Or Else.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhLq9NPLv0M

This lovely video comes from Penn State Student Affair’s Counseling and Psychological Services. It’s apparently intended to teach instructors how to handle aggressive, potentially violent students. And the potentially violent, threatening, stereotype student they chose to portray is…an Iraq war veteran. It almost sounds like a cuss when they say "veteran" in the video.

Let's ignore the fact this kid looks barely old enough to have had basic training. From my experience, those I've met here who have had ANY military experience are more in control, mature and level than most of your typical pampered WASPs about. Is this really such a problem here? I can't fathom what incident would make them feel making this video was a good, or representative idea. It's been yanked already from PSU's website, at least... not that the video even gave an instructional example OF how to deal with it.

Still. Really?

In other news, Happy Easter!

-Nicole

So Penn State's began its second wave of the My20 energy conservation campaign for the year... this time, it's more a general plea than the structured, these-are-your-tasks-and-this-is-the-energy-you-suck Fall 08 effort. This one nearly flew under the radar, except the odd email and the strategic ripping out of Stall Stories to be replaced with its semi-uninspirational posters.

The first time around, I did go out of my way to conserve - I actually remembered to turn off the dorm lights before leaving, unplugged various unused electronics, and took the stairs - not that I used the elevator regularly anyways (d'you think I have a deathwish?)... however, in a month or so the effort died off to my regular absent-mindedness. Personally, I'd prefer a quieter fridge that didn't suck energy every 20 minutes by OBNOXIOUSLY loudly cooling itself off...

Here's my question: has anyone truly changed their eco-ways from the My20 campaign, or otherwise? Are those of you not in PSU's dorms even aware of the campaign? I'm curious how green the blue and white actually think they are, or should be.

TTFN,

-Nicole

PSU is getting cultural this weekend.... the international students are putting on a few interesting events in the near future: thought I'd let you know, since one of them involves free food and another has some attractive international athletes in their prime running around a field all day. =) An advanced race will still have primal interests, what can I say... 

1. MALAYSIAN NIGHT: In the HUB: 7:30pm to 11:00, will be this Friday  (Mar. 27) with free admission. There's a ton of performances, including dances and tricks and all sorts of fun stuff. More importantly, they're serving FREE FOOD. I hate to sound simple, but we all know we love it. All else fails, go watch some shows, raid the Late Night Crafts, watch a movie, and come back as you please inbetween. Should be interesting, though.

2. INTERNATIONAL SOCCER TOURNAMENT: Or "Football" to the rest of the world. Saturday, March 28 to Sunday, March 29 in West Field (near IST building), 16 teams will be facing off in a weekend-long competition. From 8:00 am to 5:00 pm Saturday and picking up to finish the Final Rounds at 2:00 Sunday, this will be an intense competition, or so I've heard. Grab some lunch from the West Wing and enjoy the show - it's always more fun if you find a team to ruthlessly cheer for, of course. Is there an All American team? I don't know, but I have a feeling that the home advantage isn't going to work in this case...

3. INTERNATIONAL SPRING FESTIVAL: This one's a week or so away. Sunday April 5th, 6:00 pm to 8:00 in HUB's Heritage Hall. $15 tickets for this one, $10 for students, being sold at the HUB right now. The event is a superstar mashup of practically every country PSU has clubs for. Display Tables are featuring each country/club, performances ranging from Salsa to Belly Dancing. Next, a fashion show of 8 stylin' models showcasing classic and modern outfits. And, most important, FOOD! A buffet-style Dinner featuring 6 types of ethnic cuisine (including Mexican food & dishes from India Pavilion and Cozy Thai, mmm). You can possibly buy tickets at the door that night, but you won't be allowed access to the food buffet that way. I personally may be a little hazy after a certain THON club 8-hour apartment crawl scheduled the day before, buuut you can count on me being there the whole time. =)

Happy Tuesday!

Nicole

Hey, jolt-seekers,

No worries, Kyle didn't have a sex change when you weren't looking. While he's busy backpacking around Europe a week or so (wireless services probably get tricky crossing borders), I'll be filling his cosmopolitan globe-trotting shoes. Speaking of sex changes, on to news!

Transgendered wife is sentenced 4 years in jail for reckless homicide her 73-year-old husband.

  Cause of death? The 41-year-old was literally dragging him around in a pool, in an effort to make him make him be healthier... by dunking and dragging him around the pool for two hours. After she finally let him out, he collapsed with a heart attack and died.

“All along I never forgot for once what this case was about,” she said. “This was a case about him, and what had happened to him and I. It was about a local woman accused, not a local transgender woman accused.”

She added, “What will be, will be. By the grace of God and His son, I have managed to pull myself together over the past few months.” Yes, dear, this is ALL about him.

There are oh, so, so many ways to comment on this ... especially when you look at the size of her in the included recorded video of her workout session. I'll just let it speak for itself.

In other oxymoronic news...

The U.S. is preparing to crack down on drug trafficking at the US-Mexico border.

On Friday, however,

the USDA approved the usage of Celexa and Lexapro, an anti-depressant pill, to be used by adolescent children as "maintenence therapy." No sir, we won't have no drugs we aren't making a profit from. As long as we're the ones making it it's alright, right?

In local news, Humans vs. Zombie is still going strong - they just brought out The Guns yesterday. It always brightens my day a little to see a group of players organizing a charge formation outside the hub between classes. Even better is when an ROTC group marches by in the opposite direction... I love Penn State. =)

Nicole

The BBC claims that new discoveries could suggest that dinosaurs, the once and future lizard kings of the earth, were, in fact, covered in fur.  Yes, furry.  Like your kitten.

Dear reader, I think it is time we take action against the corrupt forces in the journalism world.  The BBC is clearly fabricating this article.  Dinosaurs definitely were not fuzzy, everyone knows that.  Jurassic Park tells us so.  I don't know about you, but dinosaurs having hair would completely ruin my childhood image of the big, bad T-Rex, and therefore, it would completely ruin my childhood, period.

It's not that furry things can't be scary.  I would never, for example take on a grizzly bear.  I also realize that a pissed off lioness could tear my face off before I even had time to piss myself.  However, there's just something about the fuzzy Tyrannosaurs Rex that rubs me--not literally--the wrong way.  Leathery, scaly skin just makes the animal seem tougher, probably more distant and therefore a bit scarier.  However, I think the major issue is that everything in this world that is CUDDLY is FUZZY.  No, no, fuzzy =/= cuddly by any means, but it at least sets up the potential.  For example, take that grizzly bear, make him all plushy like, and you can send little Dennis to bed with something to cuddle with.  However, if that bear had tough, leathery skin, I don't think it would work out as well.

Santa Claus, please tell me they're lying.

Speaking of fuzzy, look at this awkward commercial.  If you don't get it, you're missing out, and if you do get it, you kinda wish you didn't:

The FDA is looking into a new solution to stop smoking known as e-cigarettes.  An e-cigarette is basically a plastic tube with the same dimensions as a regular cigarette that contains liquid nicotine.  When the smoker--if you can even call the person that, now--drags on the e-cigarette, the plastic tube warms, vaporizing some of the liquid nicotine, allowing the user to inhale and get that tobacco hit.

This new device is being marketted as the replacement for the nicotine patch.  It will allow people who want to quit an opportunity to still get the nicotine hit without the tobacco smoke.  Plus, it also fulfills the oral fixation and physical actions related to cigarette smoking that the patch does not.

Experts say that it's the tobacco smoke, not the nicotine, that causes cancer and most health problems related to cancer, meaning that e-cigarettes are seemingly relatively safe and effective.  However, the FDA is still looking into it; just because tobacco smoke is not present does not necessarily mean that inhaling pure nicotine is safe, either.

As someone who buys a pack every few weeks or months, I think this is a pretty cool idea if it's safe.  When I do have a pack of cigarettes on me, it's at certain times of the day--after a meal, when I'm trying to stay awake and read or write a paper--that I'm really looking to smoke one, so I don't think that the patch, which gives a steady stream of nicotine, would be effective.  However, e-cigarettes would allow me to have that nicotine buzz only when I really want it.  At the same time, it would feel comforting like one of those cigarettes when I'm stressed out.  Using one would mimic that process of taking a drag, inhaling, and then exhaling.  I work in a movie theater, and I've seen someone with one of these, and he was allowed to use it inside, too, so this invention might be nice for smokers who can't smoke in their favorite bars or restaurants.

On another note, who's going to win the NCAA tournament?  Come on, you can be honest since Penn State was snubbed out of it this year.

Hay guise.  I apologize for the major slippage in updating.  My computer got hit hard with a virus.  Regular updates will return soon.  Very soon.  Like tomorrow.

Until then, enjoy some commercials--or 'adverts', as they're referred to over here--from the UK.

-California bill proposes to legalize marijuana and tax it like alcohol.

-Obama depicted as a monkey.  Yes, a monkey.  Like, the animal that has portrayed the black stereotype too often in the past.

-In case you read the previous article on Coatesville, PA, a couple of suspects have been arrested for the arsons.  Neither of them are actually from the city.

-Family attends THON in rememberance of the daughter they lost to cancer.

-Afghanistan residents use dead bodies of children to prove a point.  I don't know what's sicker--the fact that they used these children's bodies in a protest or the fact that no one would pay attention to them until they did so.

-The real reason Elvis died.  Seriously, this sounds like quality dining after a few drinks on a Saturday night.  Just don't eat two of them every night for dinner, like the King was rumored to have done.

Refusing to ignore the elephant in the room, how bout that THON?

If I'm honest, I think that THON is a little over-the-top.  I think the line dance is consistantly corny.  I worry that THON often becomes more about the organizations collecting money than the cause they're collecting money for.  I don't really understand the link between dancing and curing cancer.

But really, why the hell not?

Seriously, one person's mostly unfounded personal biases make up a relative piss drop of rain on a $7.49 million fundraiser.  It doesn't really matter how much you like it; that much money can only be a good thing in the too-often negative struggle to solve cancer.

But it's not just about the money.  It's about the kids, too.  Too many of the kids who participate in this event will never reach the age to participate in it as undergraduates.  Too many of them will have lives that don't last long enough, lives with illnesses that loom over them.  A few hours dancing with mom and dad--sometimes a few hours without mom and dad--a few hours in that environment with the corny line dance that seems to encourage us all to be kids can only be a good thing.  Whether they know it or not, many of these kids lack what many of us would call a proper childhood.  THON fosters a place where they don't have to think about illness, about hospital trips, about cleaning their rooms.  And maybe that's why it appeals to the college students and the adults who participate in it.  We want to give them the opportunity to escape.  And maybe there's a sense of bonding, a vicarious return to childhood for all the participants.

Everyone has a cancer story.  I talked to a lot of people last year, trying to get a sense of the significance of THON.  Even if it wasn't a child they knew, it was a grandparent, an aunt, a friend.  Too often, the stories end the same way.  Curing cancer has been and might always be an uphill battle.  It's easy to forget about those we're participating in this cause for.  It's easy to simply think of the struggle as centering around money, doctors, and statistics.  THON reminds us that the cure isn't about these things.  THON is about the laughter of a boy who has seen more doctors in a few years than many of us have seen in a lifetime; about the little girl whose parents let her stay up past her bedtime because she's made new friends; about a wheelchair left outside the stadium under a "No sitting" sign.  $7.49 million is amazing.  Some things are even more amazing, though.

My fellow Penn State students:

In the history of every great university there comes a time when the student body is in turmoil.  Crisis strikes, and the students alone must respond with a collective firm hand and a courageous heart.  We, as a university, must make a decision and as a people sharing commons interests, stick by that decision, remain unfaltering in the face of adversity.

Nittany Lions, this crisis, this crossroads, this vital time in our history is upon us.  A singular issue divides us, threatening to fracture our integrity, step on our commons interests, and turn the student body against each other.  Students, this is not necessary.  Such division only damages all of us, as a collective student body as well as adversely affecting the education of the individual student.  Today, I say to you:  Vote!  For the issue of next year's White Out T-shirt may threaten our cohesion today, but deciding on the issue swiftly and firmly and then carrying forth with that decision will allow us to creat a more unified, more edified, and indeed stronger bond as students with common interests.  Today, we are fighting for our own causes.  Tomorrow, we are those causes.  Students, it is time!

.   .   .

Seriously, though, I am concerned about choice C on that poll.  "Lion up"?  If that shirt gets selected, I'm transferring.

-Penn State professor Lee An De Reus has been named a Carl Wilkens Fellow for her efforts to stop the genocide in Darfur.  Remember that place?  It seems as though Darfur has, for some reason, fallen out of the public eye, at least to some extent.  Anyway, in 2007, De Reus interviewed 25 refugees about their experiences in order to fully understand and gain firsthand experience about the situation.  Since, she has started the "Save Darfur Central PA" group, which meets once a month in Hollidaysburg.

-Water bottles?  Healthy, yes.  Environmentally friendly?  No.  Somehow, society has managed to make WATER, the essence of life bad for the environment.  The power of man never ceases to amaze me.

-Speaking of water, water line break!  The Snider Ag Arena and the Bull Barn may be without water for some time.  So if you need water, bring a - no, don't bring a water bottle.  Instead, bring a water bottle - ya know, like one of the ones you can refill and you never throw away.  From now on, think of your water bottle as a pet.  Give it a name, if you want.  And you wouldn't throw a pet in the trash - or even recycling - would you?  Granted, I suppose you don't really feed a water bottle, and most people don't generally snap their fingers to get their water bottle's attention so that they can cuddle together, but YOU'VE MISSED THE POINT!

-The new Barack Obama book recounting his journey to the White House features his PSU visit!  It also has pictures of front pages from the day following the election, including the Centre Daily Times.  Hoozah.

Three simple words.  No, I'm not talking about the ones for Valentine's Day.  I mean those three words immortalized by the guy in the liquor store in Superbad.  A website has been established where you can send in those situations where there's nothing to do but stop and say to yourself, "F*** my life."

Here are some of my favorites:
-Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML
-Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
-Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
-Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML
-Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML
 

Earlier this month, the governor announced next year's state budget.  Included in this new budget was a $21 million cut of state funding to Penn State.  To the average reader, this is probably not as much as it sounds like, as the university will still receive $318 million.  Still, this is a significant fraction coming from the school's funding.

The unfortunate reality is that the entire country is still in an economic slump, one that will take years to recover from at best.  Usually, when I hear news like funding being cut from a university, I will complain about postsecondary education costs and the fact that it's much easier for someone to get rich who started out rich than someone to start poor and get rich.  However, I don't really see a way out of this situation.  Don't get me wrong, I am by no means an expert.  I have no idea where the money comes from, goes to, or why it goes where it does.  However, from a layman's perspective, it would seem that the state doesn't have much of a choice but to cut funding to the university, simply because the economic status means that the state will have to cut funding to quite a few things.

Yes, we could say that the university's funding should be high on the list of things that deserve funding, and less money should have come out of it.  However, to be honest, I don't know where the other money is going, and for all I know, maybe the governor did, in fact, take that approach.  Either way, that's cold comfort, at best.  So when it comes to the governor, we should - as people often say - not hate the player, but hate the game.

As the name (sort of) implies, I'm quite behind on work and sleep right now.  Here are some things for your daily amusement:

-Marijuana linked to testicular cancer.

-David after the dentist:

The unfortunate reality is that Americans are known as fat-asses - no secret here.  We have an infinite number of diets, some of which work, some of which are absolutely ridiculous.  The Master Cleanse has its followers living off of lemon water, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.  Not in between meals or anything like that; the lemon water is your meal.  All of them.  Other diets are just plain nasty - such as The Weight Loss Cure They Don't Want You To Know About.  Pregnant women's urine shot up into your veins like some sort of depressing heroin.  SRSLY!!ONE!

Doing some simple internet research - Wikipedia doesn't count.  Ever. - reveals that such ridiculous diets combined with sugar-free foods, and Chuck Norris's workout machine thingmajig has resulted in just about nothing.  OH NOES!

Why, you may be asking yourself, hast the gods of metabolism foresaken us?!  Well if you want my opinion, continue reading*.  Such diets emphasize restraint and restriction.  Many of us are not strong enough to deal with such restrictions, causing diets to be doomed from the start.  Even for people who do have such discipline - USE THE FORCE! - these diets cut out the foods that we eat, meaning that they are often seen as temporary; our habits improve for a while, but then once we lose enough weight to fit into that prom dress or banana hammock, we stop the diet, and the weight comes back.  With avengence!

The key should be to cut down caloric intake and horrible food consumption not necessarily by consciously restricting ourselves from eating these terrible things - though that's part of it - but by consciously increasing our intake of more healthy food.  Mama says, "Apple a day."  Fruits, vegetables, yadayadayada.  I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you've never really had a doubt.

However, another key into increasing good food intake is cooking.  Like actually cooking.  Microwave?  Bad!  Stove?  Good.  TV dinner?  Bad!  Steamed vegetables?  Good.  As you may or may not know, many restaurants liberally use unhealthy oils to speed up cooking times.  What's more, these unhealthy oils - lard, palm oil, and others - have longer shelf life and are therefore more economical for restaurants than their healthier counterparts - olive oil and walnut oil, for example.

Cooking at home gives you more control over ingredients.  Fresher ingredients are generally healthier.  Ever look at the sodium content on canned chili?  It's bananas, yo.  Fewer preservatives, fewer chemicals, fewer food colorings; I remember in 5th grade all the boys stopped drinking Mountain Dew because it was supposed to make a certain part of your body shrink.  Happen to anyone else?

Anyway, you get the idea.  Pick up a food magazine.  Go buy a student cookbook.  Google recipes.  Youtube recipes!  ZOMG YOUTUBE IS LIKE THE GAMESHARK OF COOKING!  Once you get that experience and confidence under your belt, you'll wonder why the hell you thought cooking was so hard in the first place.  And every (insert gender) loves a (insert gender) who can cook!

*DISCLAIMER:  I am not a doctor.  But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night**!

**DISCLAIMER:  Ok, I am not a doctor, nor did I actually stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.  But I do like the show House.

This year marks the first Black History Month in the US with a black president at the helm.  It's an interesting concept, having a month to recognize the achievements of a race.  However, how much is this month actually doing to advance the African-American's place in our society?

Don't get me wrong here.  I'm not racist.  I am aware that racism still exists.  I do think that African-Americans are a marginalized demographic, and I do think it's important that they receive recognition in historical contexts.  However, having a black history month is, in my opinion, the wrong way to go about giving this recognition.

I grew and went to school in a place with a heavy minority population.  I had a very diverse group of friends.  In elementary school, whenever February rolled around, decorations were always put up with pictures of famous African-Americans with their achievements listed.  George Washington Carver, for some reason, sticks out to me more than anyone else.  During this month, we would have lessons focused on black politicians, black writers, black scientists, black actors, black singers - you get the idea.

Surely, this was a great way to get the students to learn about famous black Americans.  This is how I discovered the music of Duke Ellington and Chuck Berry, which I still love.  This is also how I discovered Langston Hughes, one of my favorite poets.  Black History Month was effective at my school, definitely.

However, in hindsight, I have a few of problems with Black History Month, ones that are large enough to make me think that such education needs to be revised, possibly even done away with.  For one, these lessons all recognized historical figures - Duke Ellington, Chuck Berry, Langston Hughes, etc.  These were people whose achievements were done, people who only existed in the history books to young people.  I don't recall any lessons on black figures who were still active.  Wynton Marsalis?  Ignored.  Nobel winner Derek Walcott?  Nowhere to be found.  This lack of contemporary figures , especially when juxtaposed with regular lessons on active white Americans made these famous blacks seem more like the exception than the rule.

Another problem I have with this is that there was one month dedicated to black history while all the other months were almost devoid of it.  This single month, the shortest one, nonetheless, was packed with historic figures who were too often nowhere to be found in the lessons during the rest of the year.  I think that this absence in other lessons meant that more emphasis was placed on black than history - almost as though these figures were relatively marginal and don't deserve recognition next to their white counterparts.  Today, I find it problematic that 8-year old me mentally divided important people from important black people; it wasn't that I was racist, but it was the problematic way in which these people were presented to me.

Probably my largest problem with Black History Month lies in the figures who were taught to me.  I think this problem is present in nearly all education, all the way up to the university level.  The people I learned about were always who were peaceful, friendly toward white people, and relatively pro-assimilation.  They were never ones known for black pride and perpetuating black subculture.  Fair enough, the Black Panthers would probably be a bit too extreme for an elementary school classroom, but still, we could have learned a bit more about the important figures who weren't willing to compromise so much for equality.  Martin Luther King, Jr.?  Always the central figure of February's lessons.  Malcolm X?  I hadn't even heard his name until middle school.  Booker T. Washington, who thought that African-Americans had to earn their place in society by getting industrial jobs and working their way up, was hailed as a scholar and a heroic figure.  WEB DuBois, his contemporary and definitely a more important figure barely got any recognition, probably because he believed that change should come from political activism, rather than assimilation.  Marcus Garvey?  Hadn't even heard of him until university.  Even Bayard Rustin, MLK's right-hand man who was born 20-30 minutes away from my school, was someone I hadn't heard of until university, and I'm guessing that this has something to do with his sexuality.

A step forward, I think, would be to incorporate education on African-American figures more in regular lessons.  Make students realize that these were great people, regardless of race - that Duke Ellington was a great musician and Langston Hughes was a great writer by anyone's standards.  I think that such education would do more for race relations and give students a better education overall than taking these figures out of context and placing them on a pedestal.

Today was signing day on the collegiate football scene.  The Nittany Lions have had pressure to replace the graduating class, which includes the likes of Derrick Williams, Jordan Norwood, Deon Butler, Anthony Scirrotto, and some very solid members on a very good offensive line.

PSU, one of the fastest teams in the conference, made sure to replace the speed with speed.  16 of the 29-player recruiting class can run the 40-yard dash in less than 4.6 seconds.  This is great speed, especially for the Big Ten, known more for its up-the-gut running kind of football.  Included in this class is Devon Smith, a 5'7" wide receiver who attended the same high school as none other than Derrick Williams.  Smith will probably be utilized in a similar role to Williams, playing at wideout as well as being used in the slot and playing in the backfield.

However, the recruiting class also brought highly-touted tackle Eric Shrive.  Shrive, from West Scranton High, is 6'7" and 285-pounds.  Adam Gress, 6'7" and 295 pounds, has also committed.  Yes, we have recruited an army tank.  Despite this huge size, the Daily News described him as having a "relatively thin frame", giving him even more room to grow.  Gress's high school coach said that he could see the player eventually playing at 350 pounds.

Admittedly, I am a Philadelphia Eagles fan.  Admittedly, it was my team who came up short at the chance of seeing an all-PA Super Bowl.  Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers and their many fans at PSU.

Why did the Steelers win?  Masterful gameplanning from Coach Tomlin?  The nasty defense?  No, none of this.  Here's why:

Penn State Berks Professor Steve Zervanos has been recording the hibernation patterns of groundhogs in an attempt to help save lives.  The idea is that studying their hibernation patterns will reveal how much of hibernation is genetic and how much is environmental.  Once this is observed, scientists will attempt to find the gene that controls hibernation, and by doing so, they will hopefully be able to control medical sedation in a safer and more efficient way.

Neither Punxsutawney Phil nor Gus could be reached for comment.

Such research to answer medical questions brings a few questions into question.  First of all, there's the worn-out ethical dilemma of animal testing.  Should animals be tested on or, in this case, have electronics strapped to them, re-located and observed?  These are, after all, sentinent creatures.  However, does human consciousness make humans more important than these garden-destroying filth-bags?

Also coming into question:  are we testing ridiculous ideas?  Should we be pouring money into researching the hibernation patterns of moving trash receptacles?  Is such research ingenuitive or frivilous?

Comment on this entry, and have your opinion heard!

Coatesville is a small city located about three hours east of State College and an hour west of Philadelphia.

Coatesville is a city of about 11,000.  Its population is predominantly black, due, in large part, to its being the last stop before Canada on one of the Underground Railroad routes.  The city's main economical income has historically come from the steel industry; Lukens Steel, once able to make the largest steel plates in the world - and thus, the safest ship and train parts - produced the steel that went into Cooley Dam, the St. Louis Arch, the World Trade Center, and many tanks, batttleships, etc. used to protect this nation's freedom.  However, in the 1990's, America's steel industry began to be outsourced, Lukens was eventually bought out, and thousands of Coatesville residents lost their jobs.

In short, Coatesville represents blue collar America, a group of people who, in the digital age and the current economic situation, are struggling to maintain their places as the foundation of the US.  Coatesville represents those who 90210 would never glorify, people who the general population would never tell their children to aspire to become.  However, Coatesville also represents people who have struggled and earned their places in society.  Hard workers and full-time hustlers often in too bad of situations to handle by themselves but too proud to take handouts.  Coatesville consists of the people who mainstream society has marginalized, even though they have laid the foundations for mainstream society to exist.

However, beyond this ignorance of the general population, Coatesville faces another crisis.  Last year, about 15 arsons occurred in the city, and since the beginning of January this year, 14 more have occurred, including one that destroyed 15 homes.  I don't have to go in to the ramifications of a family's home being destroyed by fire.  However, the implications are even larger.  The city, feeling the pressure of a failed steel industry and a current economic crisis must pay for the damages these fires have caused.  Also, many people are afraid to sleep because they are afraid that they'll be next.

I don't usually pray, but if you do, say a prayer for the victims and the residents who have been victimized by the terror they face.  Even if you don't pray, think about these people, the ones who America has marginalized for the sake of convenience.  And remember that many jobs are just a few years away from falling to the same fate.  More importantly, many people are, too.

Personally, I have been one of the largest critics of the Greek system since coming to college.  Hazing, reported cases of rape, the exclusionary nature, and many other aspects have always turned me off from fraternities.

However, for CAS100B, my group did a presentation on fraternities, analyzing their group dynamics.  During the course of the project, I learned about how frats are run and more about why their members join them.  While the aformentioned negative qualities are certainly unexcusable, this project did show me a new more positive light to view fraternities in.

Coming to college - especially one as large as Penn State - some fraternity members were worried that they would get lost in the confusion of 40,000+ students.  Joining a fraternity ensured that they had a close-knit group of friends throughout their time at university.  Many people can empathize with the desire for inclusion.

Also, I found it interesting that a fraternity member that I interviewed thought that being a part of the group helped his grades.  He said that there was always an older member in the major who could help him with his work.  Rarely do people consider such organizations as assisting with education, but apparently, it does happen.

One cannot deny the importance of fraternities to philanthropic activities as well.  THON is the largest student-run philanthropic activity in the world.  Without contributions from Greek organizations, the proceeds would be mere fractions of what the fundraiser collects now.  Many people say that these organizations only participate in THON to bring attention to themselves or just for an ego boost.  Maybe.  However, a dollar is a dollar.  Fraternities and sororities undeniably do a great thing in raising money for the cause.

So what do you think?  Are fraternities great organizations that are essential to the university experience and contribute greatly to the communities around them?  Or are they just places where freshmen go participate in scandalous activities on weekends?

Don't lie.  You were planning on dedicating a day or two over Thanksgiving break wear you would do nothing but work so that you could catch up with the things you should have been doing all semester.  And you didn't.

So now it's time to get a coffee, maybe a few energy drinks and stay up way too late to finish the stuff you promised yourself you would have finished by now.

First things first, though:  Procrastination.

An advertisement for bottled water from the UK:

Jeff Goldblum on Conan:

Watch the previous video first, then this version.  For some reason, Goldblum has the perfect voice for this:

In case you didn't know, for years, Joe Paterno has been ghostwriting lyrics for Jay-Z.  Both from Brooklyn, the rapper said that Paterno "has been like a father...or maybe grandfather" for years.  One of the most memorable JoePa songs in Jay-Z's repertoire?  "Encore" from The Black Album.  Upon hearing of Jay's planned 'retirement', Paterno wrote this song to inspire him to keep going.  Jay altered the lyrics as to not make the ghostwriting obvious, but the Daily Jolt has recently uncovered the original version written by the Nittany Lions coach himself.

Encore
(Original Joe Paterno version)

Now can I get an encore, do you want more
Cookin raw with the Brooklyn boy
So for one last time, Nittany Lions, roar

Now what the hell are you waitin for
After me, there shall be no more
Now Beaver Stadium, y'all make some noise

[Verse One]
Who you know fresher than Joe? Riddle me that
The rest of y'all know where I'm lyrically at
Dantonio can't mirror me back
Stadium claps like they did for Rip in his prime
I'm, young 'Terno, Big Ten's Grateful Dead
Back to take the Rose Bowl, now break bread
I'm in, Royster runnin', Kelly to kick
D. Clark and D. Will will connect
In the box but the library got a triple deck
But when you JoePa, what the fuck you expect? Yep, yep
Grand openin, grand closin
God damn your man Joe cracked the Buckeyes again
How you gonna win at a State with no Penn
just draw off inspiration
Soon you gon' see you can't replace him
with cheap imitations from these generations

Now can I get an encore, do you want more
Cookin raw with the Brooklyn boy
So for one last time, Nittany Lions, roar

{What the hell are you waiting forrrr?}

[Verse Two]
[sighs] Look what you made me do, look what I made for you
Coachin' the white and blue, how will they pay you
When you first come in the game, they try to play you
Then you conquer the BCS, look how they wave to you
From Beaver to Park and McKee
To the only thing that matters is win three-eighty-three (yea)
As fate would have it, State's status appears
to be at an all-time high, perfect time to say goodbye
When I come back like Sean Lee, wearin the 4-5
It ain't to play games witchu
It's to aim at you, probably maim you
MSU, I'll mess you to smithereeens
Wolverines, take one for your team
And I need you to remember one thing (one thing)
I came, I saw, I conquered
From national titles, to hall of fame honors
So Beaver Stadium if you want this encore,
I need you to scream, 'til your lungs get sore

JoePa!  JoePa!  JoePa!

[Verse Three]
So this here is the victory lap
Then I'm lea-vin, Pasadena gets me back
After a year of Big Ten Champs, I can't lose
And that's two in four, for PSU
You wanted to gain attention new dudes
I can get you ESPN, BTN, too
Tryina run, the linebackers gonna plug it
Tom Bradley's defense, it ain't budgin!
Lions did it to death, you gotta love it
Sports writers told me I couldn't cut it
Now look, I'm All-American-studded
Spartan's O-line musta stuttered
All cause the plays I uttered, were utterly ridiculous
How sick is this?
You want to bang, put Deon on, JWood is good
DWill is gone, 'cause the O is spread
Pasadena's flowers look red, WOO!

What the hell are you waiting forrrr?

During the crazy night of Nov. 4 a few weeks ago, America wrote history in electing Barack Obama, a half-black man with grandparents in Kenya, president-elect of the US.  As stated in the Jolt before, this is a groundbreaking event that will no doubt hold a place in posterity's classrooms.  That being said, I feel that this election will bring other, less positive recognition that tomorrow's students will learn.

Middle school and high school textbooks have lessons on slavery and segregation.  Many students look at such institutions and wonder what the hell the people before them were thinking.  A distance is formed between the youth and those who preceded them.  These negative parts of US history, and world history, for that matter, are grounded deeply in fundamental beliefs that we cannot even comprehend today.  They are so ingrained in these unfathomable beliefs that we wonder if we really are a part of the same human narrative.

The pass of Proposition 8 in California banned gay marriage.  There are many things to say about basic human rights, the already defamed institution of marriage, and the separate-but-equal nature of civil unions versus gay marriage.  However, I would like to note that I am a bit ashamed that 50 years from now, our generation will be the ones being looked at with a suspicious eyebrow in history class.  We will be the ones who our children and grandchildren look at, wondering how we could pass propositions that marginalize our peers so much.

The winners for the Jolt's Halloween Contest '08 have been announced.  See them HERE!

Congratulations to all the winners and everyone who competed.  You're all winners.  Now if only we had those medals for everyone that you used to get after soccer was over every year.

...no, seriously.  Because of the content of her speeches and the way she worked the crowds during rallies, the secret service has linked Sarah Palin with death threats directed toward the first family-to-be.

During her public addresses, Palin often played up the fact that Barack Obama was on a school board with William Ayers, accusing the president elect of, "palling around with terrorists."  The crowd, in frenzy would often yell racial slurs or show their desire to end the man's life.

In other news, The Washington Post has admitted bias for Barack Obama in election coverage.  It may be interesting to see if any other news sources follow suit after what seemed to be quite a bit of media bias for both parties on the two usual suspects, CNN and Fox News.

First of all, does anyone else find it a bit strange that Saturday was a white-out game? I realize that they were better than an FCS school, but they aren't quite challenging for any BCS spots.

Regardless, the team had a great game. The entire offense clicked. The defense looked pretty good most of the time, though the secondary did occasionally. struggle in zone coverage.

The biggest surprise had to be the defensive line. Because of the fight last year, PSU had already lost DT's Chris Baker and Phil Taylor, the two best interior linemen. Devon Still was lost to injury. Last week, end Maurice Evans - arguably the best player on the line last year - and tackle Abe Koroma were both suspended for weed possession, and Hayes went down with an injury against Coastal Carolina.

Just kidding.  Really, though, is Ralph Nader going to be on the ballot forever?  I'm fairly certain that he's not even a real person, just a running joke between politicians.

Anyway, in case you've been sleeping for the past day or so, don't understand English - which wouldn't make sense because you're reading this - and avoided every active news source, Barack Obama beat out John McCain by quite a hefty margin.

You don't need the Jolt to cover the election for you; there are far greater sources for that.  However, one thing that the Jolt does recommend looking at is international reaction to the election.  Kenya, where some of Obama's family lives, has declared a national holiday in celebration.  Many Germans are ecstatic because they feel that they can identify with the president-to-be.  Even many of the conservative leaders in Britain favored Obama over McCain.

True, their opinions may matter only on a relatively small scale in domestic politics, but their enthusiasm about Barack Obama interests me.  For one thing, America remains one of, if not the most powerful nations in the world.  Our presidential campaign affects other nations because of this power.  However, on a deeper level, America has, since its birth, been one of the most progressive nations on the planet.  Reading various news sources, one gets the idea that our electing a black president has renewed our progressive status and renewed the world's faith in America as a leader, a faith that has been faultering under Bush.

This election will hopefully make other nations - as well as our own, for that matter - increase their acceptance of minorities into society.

A South African journalist comments:

Damn, I love Americans. Just when you’ve written them off as hopeless, as a nation in decline, they turn around and do something extraordinary, which tells you why the United States of America is still the greatest nation on earth. But too, what is happening in America and Kenya holds lessons for politicians everywhere, and South Africa would do well to take heed.

Regardless of which party or candidate you supported throughout the campaigns, you must recognize Obama's election as a momentous event, a crowning achievement to the struggles of Frederick Douglass, WEB DuBois, Martin Luther King Jr., and all of those whose names history will not remember.  However, this grand conclusion will mean nothing if it is not also the beginning of a new political and social era.

After the huge away win against Ohio State, many Penn Staters participated in riots downtown.  The riots included light poles being ripped down, crowding the streets that disrupted traffic, and cars being vandalized.  Incidents of vandalism like this do not make much sense, but then again, that is kind of the idea, isn't it?  People are joyous to the point of being senseless.  Under no circumstances are such acitons justfied, but one must understand why the riots occurred.  A huge win with such a concentrated number of fans in one place - plus a bit of alcohol - will definitely cause many people to lose control, and many others to follow their example.

The riots caused police, specifically riot police, to become involved in teh situation - a necessary measure, surely.  However, once they got involved, some of the police got out of control.  The use of mace may have been necessary; it would be impossible to disperse such a crowd without using some sort of physical force, and mace is a more effective, relatively less violent, and less risky use of force than pure physical altercations.  In this way, the police actions were probably justified.  That being said, some of the officers got out of control.  Mace provoked shouts against the police, and a few officers got out of control, turning the mace from a crowd control technique to a weapon.

On the Daily Collegian website, one officer can clearly be seen grabbing a man from the crowd and spraying the mace into his eyes with the can probably a foot or less from his face.  As the rioter covers his eyes and ducks away, the officer reaches around the rioter's head so that the mace continue going into his eyes.  He continue to do so until another officer pulls him off of the rioter.

Like the rioters' overzealous celebration, one can again see that the officer has become frustrated with the rioter and so makes a rash decision.  However, these officers go through training, have positions of authority, and therefore expectations to refrain from such behavior.  The police should set examples for those they are expected to monitor.  Rioters do have a moral obligation to not vandalize property, but police officers have moral obligations to not assault who trust them to adhere to their expected conduct.  Furthermore, while rioters were damaging city and personal property, police officers were assaulting - using excessive force not against objects but people.

Recent news articles have said that police are looking into prosecuting those who participated in riots.  However, further investigations should be done to the officers who participated on the other side.  People pay taxes and place trust into the police force to keep peace and act with reason.  Incidents like these violate that trust in ways that can damage the community and the people in it.

Just wanted to remind everyone to upload your Halloween pictures to the Jolt.  First prize at Penn State wins $100 and the grand prize at all the Jolt schools wins an iPod Touch!  Just submit your pictures to the photo album at the top of the page, and provide your e-mail.  We'll contact you if you win.

On another note, a group organized on Facebook will be writing a poem a day for a week next week.  If you or anyone you know writes, join the group.  It's sure to be a good time!€

After the first win in the Horseshoe since 1978, the Nittany Lions succeeded in what may have been their biggest test of the year.  In a highly defensive game, our defense - safety Mark Rubin, to be exact - punched the ball from the grasp of Terrelle Pryor, and Navarro Bowman recovered for Penn State.  This turnover was easily the play of the game.  Give much credit to Rubin and Bowman for the play, but the real credit for the play should go to linebacker Tyrell Sales.  In one of the most aware plays I've seen in football, Tyrell Sales blocked an OSU player from recovering the fumble and after falling on the ground, swatted the ball away from a sure Buckeye recovery.

Maybe it's wrong of me to say it, but how sweet was it to see Terrelle Pryor absolutely devestated after the game?  Terrelle Pryor, from Jeanette, Pennsylvania turned down Penn State to commit to Ohio State at the last minute during recruiting.

Beating the #9 Buckeyes means that Penn State is clearly favored to win the rest of their games and possibly go undefeated this year.  However, there is an old cliché about not counting eggs because the early chicken came before the egg or something like that.  Iowa has fielded a solid team, and Michigan State beat us last year and seems to have a good team this year.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some of the riots that occurred downtown after last night's victory.  Things were burned, light poles were torn down, and mace was employed.

Yessir.

The Nittany Lions will be playing the biggest game of the year tonight against the Ohio State Buckeyes.  PSU has not won in that stupid looking horseshoe stadium since 1978.  Then again, we hadn't beat Michigan in nine years either.  Then again, Joe Paterno is running the spread offense this year.  Don't put anything past our team.

For a quick history lesson, go here.  It tells about the first matchup between these two teams.  In 1912, Penn State was quickly becoming a football powerhouse in the east, while Ohio State, one of the biggest teams in the West, wanted to play against a good eastern team to prove their dominance was not just because of their weak competition.  Go to the site to find out how everything went down and why PSU will always have bragging rights over OSU, regardless of records.

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In other news, Sarah Palin writes poetry.  Read it here.  It would be pretty good if she was in seventh grade.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Yes indeed, the annual Daily Jolt Halloween Contest is just around the corner.  Submit pics from Halloween to our site, and you could win a prize!  Who doesn't like prizes?  Only terrorists don't like prizes.  No wait, they probably do, too.

Anyway, the best costume on campus this year will $100, and the best costume out of all the Daily Jolt campuses will win the grand prize, an iPod Touch.  I hear the kids are really going for those things these days.

After nine defeats in a row, the Nittany Lions finally pulled off a win against the (SC)UM Wolverines on Saturday night.

Following a lacksidasical start on both sides of the ball, the Lions got rolling near the middle of the second quarter.  At one point, we were down 10-0, but in the second quarter, PSU scored to go into the half trailing 17-14.  Even though we were losing, at that point, one had to think that the second half would be ours; indeed it was.

On a side note, I must say that UM has the most passionate (drunkenly belligerent) travelling fans of any of the teams we've hosted thus far.

PSU would then kick a field goal to notch things at 17 all.  The signature play of the game came in the third quarter.  With the Lions quickly gaining momentum from their subpar first half performance, the student section was in top form.  Michigan, with the ball deep in their own territory was backed up near the south endzone, the students screaming in their ears.  On a third down play, UM QB Steven Threet dropped into the endzone to pass.  Jared Odrick got into the backfield and dragged Threet down before he could manage to get away a desperate attempt at a pass.  The student section exploded.  Literally.  There was blood, guts, and white shirts all over the field.  It would have been extremely tragic, had it not been for the three millions (or something like that) to 17 final score.

The term 'emotional victory' seems to be tossed around too much these days, but Saturday night brought the epitome of an emotional victory.  Even The Coach (yes, from now on, Joe Paterno will also be known simply as The Coach) can afford to smile.  He said that he wouldn't know how good of a team we had until we faced adversity.  After being down by ten points early, the team stayed cool in the face of adversity, having a strong belief in their game and just performing how they knew they could.  PSU goes to Columbus next week for probably the biggest test of the season.